can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
