at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
