Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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