he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
