I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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