I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
