They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
