i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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