Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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