wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
