1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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