The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
