I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
