nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
