Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
