There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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