If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
