I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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