Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
