Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
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