she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
