This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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