the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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