Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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