All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Green mimosas i think yes
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
