That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
