So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
