I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
