New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
