Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
