i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
