Christians are straight up FREAKS
i dont even know how to be here
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
