Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
