Whod you bang
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
