you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
