too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
