'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize