Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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