What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
