Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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