omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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