i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
