I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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