It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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