As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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