If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
