I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
