I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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