I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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