i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
