that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
