i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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