friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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