and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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