am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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