So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
