Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
