Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
