haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
