Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
