it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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