Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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