I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize