I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
