If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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