Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
