He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize