theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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