God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
