Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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