dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
