i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
