So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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