I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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