I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize