never play flip cup with pint glasses
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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